I Believe in Apostles and Prophets

I love Sundays, but yesterday was extra special. We were able to sit in the same room and be taught by an an apostle of the Lord Elder D. Todd Christofferson and a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy Elder Kearon. It was wonderful. So inspiring. I wanted to be better, do better and did not come away feeling like the things I want to be are out of my reach, like I do so often. The meeting strengthened my testimony and my desire to live the gospel more perfectly. It also increased my love for my Father in Heaven. I love it when you feel like you get a glimpse of Him through those who serve him. I love feeling like I know my Father in Heaven better because of being around the people who are trying to be like Him.

I met a young woman who has been a member of the church for 3 weeks! Age 23 yrs. I asked her how about her story and she told me that she was trying to study the Bible again and just felt that there must be a religion out there that followed the Bible  more closely than her own Catholic religion. She sought help from a friend, found the missionaries, was taught and baptized. It was REMARKABLE! I was so impressed with the courage and the divine guidance that she received. It is obvious that the Lord's hand is in our lives.

We stayed after the meeting for 45 minutes watching as Elder Christofferson and Elder Kearon interacted and shook hands with the children and the youth in the congregation.

Kelly was able to be in a training meeting with them and 2 other visiting authorities for four hours on Saturday. He loved it and felt inspired by it. Elder Christofferson left a blessing on the bishops that really touched Kelly. He said he feels a desire to live up to what he was promised in that blessing.

Later in the day I was reminded of the counsel of another apostle, which felt so comforting to especially at this time:

Component Number Three: Inviting Children to Act

In the grand division of all of God’s creations, there are “things to act and things to be acted upon” (2 Nephi 2:14). As children of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity and power of independent action. Endowed with agency, we are agents, and we primarily are to act and not merely be acted upon—especially as we “seek learning . . . by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118).

As gospel learners, we should be “doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22). Our hearts are opened to the influence of the Holy Ghost as we properly exercise agency and act in accordance with correct principles—and we thereby invite His teaching and testifying power. Parents have the sacred responsibility to help children to act and to seek learning by faith. And a child is never too young to take part in this pattern of learning. Or maybe too old?

Giving a man a fish feeds him for one meal. Teaching a man to fish feeds him for a lifetime. As parents and gospel instructors, you and I are not in the business of distributing fish; rather, our work is to help our children learn “to fish” and to become spiritually steadfast. This vital objective is best accomplished as we encourage our children to act in accordance with correct principles—as we help them to learn by doing. “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God” (John 7:17). Such learning requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception.

Are you and I helping our children become agents who act and seek learning by study and by faith, or have we trained our children to wait to be taught and acted upon? Are we as parents primarily giving our children the equivalent of spiritual fish to eat, or are we consistently helping them to act, to learn for themselves, and to stand steadfast and immovable? Are we helping our children become anxiously engaged in asking, seeking, and knocking? (See 3 Nephi 14:7.)

The spiritual understanding you and I have been blessed to receive, and which has been confirmed as true in our hearts, simply cannot be given to our children. The tuition of diligence and of learning by study and also by faith must be paid to obtain and personally “own” such knowledge. Only in this way can what is known in the mind also be felt in the heart. Only in this way can a child move beyond relying upon the spiritual knowledge and experiences of parents and adults and claim those blessings for himself or herself. Only in this way can our children be prepared spiritually for the challenges of mortality.

I felt like that was a tender mercy reminding me that we are doing the right thing with Kelsey-and it is a good reminder for the daughter at home too!

I am so thankful for the opportunity to listen to a prophet and apostles, who are alive and walk the earth, who live in a way to receive the word of the Lord and bless my life.

Another Road Trip...So Soon?

Kelsey and I made a historic road trip...to Thatcher, Arizona! What is so historic about Thatcher? That is where you find Eastern Arizona College. This is the second trip of this kind we have made to the Gila Valley-first to leave Maryn there to attend school. And this time it was Kelsey's turn! She is living in the dorms on campus (even now as I type this). We had a good day getting her settled in her room, meeting her roommates and buying her books. After dinner, we stopped at Wal-Mart to get the last minute necessities and then it was time to say good-bye. There were a few tears shed as we anticipated missing daily contact, but we are all excited so this opportunity for Kelsey, so we smiled through our tears.Wow, "back to school" has taken on an whole new meaning now that we have grown up kids!

Leap of Faith

This post is just one of those--get it off your chest kind of post. Everyone wants to talk to me about how hard it is to send your child to college, which is true. And I know they are trying to help and it isn't that I don't appreciate it. But this time, it is different. And no one realizes that. Not that they should, but it is really hard to have the conversation when there is so much more to it. I sent Maryn off, so I know the difference. I wish it was as like before.This time, it is different because of the special set of circumstances that brought us here, which we have kept private, on purpose. So I need to write.

Yesterday, I took the biggest leap of faith...I think in my life. I stepped out of the comfortable light into the dark unknown. I let go of the branch that I was clinging to and trusted in that voice that said "let go"(--from another blog post http://ordinarymomentsextraordinarylife.blogspot.com/2010/05/hanging-on-or-letting-go.html).

I know it was the right thing to do, because I was able to do it. It was HARD yet, I for the most part I feel peace. I hardly shed any tears. I shed more tears when I would think about this day and tried to imagine doing it. I only cry when I let the doubts, the uninvited thoughts, stay too long and get comfortable. Then I cry and say a prayer. No, I plead with my Heavenly Father to help me replace my doubts with faith and feel peace again. And then I dry my tears, and find something to do!

I think back on that post from Hawaii and it was a preparation for yesterday and these days ahead as we let Kelsey...go. As we let her really choose, sink or swim, find her path. And I know how this sounds. Like an overprotective mom. But this was different--this year has been different. The story is not mine, so I won't share the details. But this has been the most difficult time for us--in a very long time.

It is like we have been on a trip. It was a totally unexpected trip and heaven knows we didn't want to go. We never imagined ever making this kind of trip, but there we were.There was no choice. The only way possible was to take the trip. The road we have been on has been long, and hard, dusty and dirty and bumpy and mostly uphill. But we made it. And because of it I am changed forever. And I know we found the right place, I just didn't know that it would be this place, where she goes on ahead and we wait here. That is all we get to do now. Assure her of our love and that we will not move. We WILL BE HERE, waiting. And we know she may not choose the right paths, if we aren't there to point them out to her--that is the reality. That is what is so scary. But. We know she can do it. If we had any concerns about her ability to do it, we wouldn't even be attempting this. Our journey down the road together wouldn't be over yet. I know that. We all know that it is the right thing for her to prove herself--to herself and to God. We really have nothing to do with it, she doesn't have to prove anything to us. And that is the point I guess. That is what we learned through this experience. We can't do "it" for her. I wish it could have been more gradual. This was so abrupt, like a slap in the face to wake you up. I am not sure there will ever come a time when I will say that given the choice, I would do it this way again. I am not grateful for this challenge we have had. It wasn't necessary. But I am grateful that it didn't break us, and that we have been able to learn from it. Because of this I know that we can rely on the atonement and prayer to help us with the deepest pain. I also know that when we don't choose the right path, we get a chance to try again. I know that if Kelsey will rely on the Lord and His atonement she will soar, fly, swim whatever it is she will be able to do it--anything and everything.

Relying on the Lord and His Atonement is the only thing that got us to where we are now. And the ONLY way I was able to take this leap. Without that knowledge, this would feel impossible. And instead I feel hope. I hope for the best, but if that doesn't happen, than I know we will try again... and again...if that is what it takes. Because of the atonement we will be able to try again.

Kelsey turns 21!

This has been the "Year of Kelsey"--in more ways than one, some difficulties but some wonderful things as well. I guess that is one of the greatest lessons in this life. We learn the most through difficult times and such has been the case this year. She has done a lot of growing up in the last few months and these experiences are the outward evidence of the inner struggles. We have been joking for several weeks now about Kelsey making three major changes in her life almost all at once, turning 21, getting her license and moving away. She has never really done anything in the "ordinary way" I guess that is why her life has been the catalyst for some of my most difficult trials and most exquisite spiritual experiences. What a blessing she has been.

But enough about me--Kelsey has been on the earth for 21 years now!! So today we celebrate a big birthday, but with a private, quiet celebration.

We went to eat at Olive Garden, her favorite of late and then to see a movie, the Sorcerers' Apprentice on the Saturday before her birthday. Then for her birthday, the actual day I made her favorite dinner, dessert and was able to pull off a surprise! I ordered an edible bouquet to be delivered after she was off work. She has wanted one of those for years and I thought that 21 deserved something a little extra special!

And I repeat, what a blessing she has been.