Jan 2011

The highlights this month!

Return to Thatcher

I took Kelsey back to school, but to a new apartment. She was very excited to get back to Thatcher to continue with her adventure there and to add some new tricks. She is moving into a new apartment--no dorm. Cooking for herself is the main attraction.

It took us all day--ALL day to get her moved in. We left the house at 8 AM and I didn't return till just about 8:30 PM. Crazy. But it anyone's fault really, it was just one of those days where what could go wrong...DID! First we went straight to the bookstore to figure out books. Are we going to buy, rent or rent online. With a little help from Maryn we had that figured out in less than an hour. So far so good. So now on to the apartment and getting rent paid. We find out they will only take checks or money orders, so a trip to the post office is necessary. But first let's stop and check out the apartment, that will be fun! We arrived at the apartment to find her new roomies sitting in front of the television while it looked like a bomb had been dropped on the place. Hmmm? Needless to say, Mom was a little worried. I followed Kelsey back to her room and passed an equally dirty kitchen and my anxiety level doubled. When I found her and saw that her room was a disaster, with no spare space I panicked! How can I leave my little girl in this situation? There is no way. This was a bad decision. My mind started racing about how to fix this, what were my options? And as soon as I could I got to the car and cried. Then I called Kelly.

Kelsey was picture perfect calm. In fact, when I saw a slightly scary male person and asked if he lived here too, she replied "Mom, you have high expectations of everyone!" Note taken. As we parked at the post office to retrieve our money order, suddenly Kelsey remember her correct po box number. Yes, as opposed to the incorrect po box number we gave to Maryn for text books! Oh no!Tiny moment of panic, but that as it turned out it was easily solved. Kelsey explained her situation to the nice lady inside and got the "this happens quite a bit, actually" response.

Decision time. Are we going to move forward with the original plan? Move her in to that dreadful place? I say no and she says yes. We compromise and decided to pay 1 month and she will see about a move later. All the while I know she is just helping me cope. After all, it is her decision. But it works to put my mind at rest...a bit. But how do we get her stuff unloaded. She suggests that I just unpack the car and head back to Tucson to be home in time for YW, but that is just unacceptable to me. I can't leave her in this awful state. We need a bed moved, but help is not arriving till much later that night. So I dry my tears, forget my worries and get to work. Erica's bed had got to be moved out to her new place if we are to get Kelsey into her room. So that is exactly what we did. Unload Kelsey's stuff to a temporary spot outside the apartment and load the bed into the back of our car. Erica fills her car and we move her to her new apartment. In return she comes back and helps us get Blythe's side of the room cleared so that we can get her bed in. We move her stuff back to her side and we bring in Kelsey's bed and the rest of her stuff. Btw, Erica's apartment? Brand new, so cute. I wish it was where Kelsey was moving into. As we drive away from there Kelsey breathes a sigh of relief and says she is feeling so much better. What? What about that picture perfect calm? So I ask her:

• "Why didn't you say anything? Was it because I was already falling apart?"
• Yes. Someone had to be strong!
• I am sorry Kelsey. If you would have told me I would have been the strong one. I would have pulled it together for you (saying through shameful tears)
• Mom. It is okay if sometimes I am the strong one.

Note taken. Last thing to do is get loaded up on some groceries and last minute apartment items. A trip to Wal-Mart and I will be on my way. Oh wait...we are starving? What time is it? Can't be helped, we have got to grab some food. A quick trip to Taco Bell and we are set. I will still make it, just in time. No worries. Okay, one worry where is the card. The card with all the money on it? It is no where in the car. We go back to the apartment. It is not in the car. We looked all over it...several times! We call Erica. We call Blythe (Kelsey's new roomie). It is no where to be found. Only thing left to do is report it stolen and cancel the card, which opens up a whole new set of questions: books? rent? Did they get paid before the cancellation goes through? Not to mention we still need the groceries.

They can re-issue the card! It will take a few days, but the money is not gone forever. We take a deep breathe and go back to Wal-Mart. We get the things she will need for the next few weeks and head back "home" to unload the groceries. She sys she will be fine to put the groceries away and organize her room. In fact, she is looking forward to it! That way I can leave--because now I will be late, but I can still make it to YW. Once home we unload her bags and she checks in the fridge....oh no! There is NO room. It is a mess inside there. Same with the freezer. Kelsey is teetering-she can do it don't worry. I really didn't want to start out griping to my roommates on the first day. I will figure it out. I can't believe I have to be bossy already. My heart can't take it. I am late already anyway, so I help her clear some room and we get the groceries put away. Now all that is left for her to do is organize her stuff. She loves that! Put some music on and she will be all set. All I have to do is drive away and leave her.

We walk out to the car to say our goodbye's and I love you's. I hug her and all I can thing about is that I don't want to let go. It is hard enough to say good-bye, but even more hard with events of this day. I don't want to leave her HERE! I force myself not to cry; not till I am on the road I tell myself. I pray for strength. I can't let myself put a damper on her excitement. Because while I am praying for help, she is saying..."Mom, can you believe it? My first apartment!"

New Year's: Look Not behind Thee

This is a good reminder and especially helpful to calm down those huge expectations I have placed on this new year. It occurred naturally with a few hard knocks, typical of life!

January 8, 2011

This was one of the weirdest days for our family--and for our community.

My parents were still here, Kelsey was still here, Maryn was still on break, so we were kind of stuck in between getting back to normal life and still stuck in Christmas vacation mode.

We had tickets to Wicked (!) in the afternoon, but there was a big "to do" list so we wanted to get as much done as we could before getting ready for our fun afternoon.

We had a huge fight--the biggest one we have had in a while. All four of us were yelling--ok all three of us. I don't think Kelly yelled. All of us were under stress and I think the cork just blew.

This was the day that six people were killed. Shot in front of Safeway at a political event. It is a terrible tragedy for all involved and I am sure it will take months for everyone to heal.

We thought for a moment about going to that event, to hear our congress woman Gabrielle Giffords. That felt weird.

We had a nice talk as a family and made-up! And we had a great time at Wicked. We tried a new Mexican restaurant afterwards and had an enjoyable evening.

We tuned to the radio for the latest news on the shooting, hoping for the best.

We are praying for our community and our country. It seems to me that it is just going to get more difficult and we need help to find the good! Events like this make you take inventory, look at your priorities and confirm your beliefs.

Back Porch Extension

We have been talking about it ever since we moved into this house over three years ago. And we finally finished it! Here are the before, after and during pictures!

First, we dug trenches and drains for the scuppers from the roof

 

Next we dug, or maybe scraped the dirt from the entire area where we were laying the brick.

Then it came time to make sure it was perfectly level and grades just right

Then we started laying the brick and more brick

Until, we finally got the last brick of in!

What I Wish I Could Have Written

from cjane.

"And that is the power of looking back in time. It comes with it enlightenment and clarity. I love the girl I was two years ago,(insert one year for me) but I am glad I am not her in many ways. There was hurting, now there is mending.

I have chosen Healing as a theme for me this year. I want to explore the culture of healing--physically, emotionally, spiritually--the choices, the paths, the outcomes. I hope to hear stories, successes and otherwise, from healers and those seeking out wholeness. I want to mend some of the broken pieces in my own life and achieve health as measured by nothing (not success, not busy-ness, not numbers on a scale) but happiness."

DITTO! I wish I had the words to express what I feel like she expresses what I feel!
I think I will use her idea of healing as a theme, or my word for the year. That or maybe "become". So many of my goals are not checklist type or measurable in that way. I want this year to be better than the last along with me and my family. I want to heal what is broken, and just be or become better.

Elder Richard G Scott
"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day"

Thankful

Thankful for my husband's employer. I am grateful that he is able to provide for our family, always. But today  I am feeling a little lonely and the line from my new favorite song "Marry Me" by Train keeps running through my head--"Forever can never be long enough for me to feel like I've had long enough with you..." So I decided I better count my blessings instead of throwing a pity party! Count the days that Arete allowed us to spend together during the Christmas break instead of the the fact he had to go back to work today!

Just in case you haven't heard it here is my new favorite song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU

What I Wish I Could Have Written

from cjane.

"And that is the power of looking back in time. It comes with it enlightenment and clarity. I love the girl I was two years ago,(insert one year for me) but I am glad I am not her in many ways. There was hurting, now there is mending.

I have chosen Healing as a theme for me this year. I want to explore the culture of healing--physically, emotionally, spiritually--the choices, the paths, the outcomes. I hope to hear stories, successes and otherwise, from healers and those seeking out wholeness. I want to mend some of the broken pieces in my own life and achieve health as measured by nothing (not success, not busy-ness, not numbers on a scale) but happiness."

DITTO! I wish I had the words to express what I feel like she expresses what I feel!
I think I will use her idea of healing as a theme, or my word for the year. That or maybe "become". So many of my goals are not checklist type or measurable in that way. I want this year to be better than the last along with me and my family. I want to heal what is broken, and just be or become better.

Elder Richard G Scott
"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day"

1/1/11

Happy New Year!
We are not sorry to see this year go! This new year, starting out with all "ones" feels like the perfect way to begin-new year, new start, new hopes, new dreams, new adventures--looking forward!

It is a little scary to think about the what if's--like what if what is in store is harder than what we have already gone through.

And the biggest one--what if my expectations for this new year are so big that there is no choice but to be let down!