Return to Thatcher

I took Kelsey back to school, but to a new apartment. She was very excited to get back to Thatcher to continue with her adventure there and to add some new tricks. She is moving into a new apartment--no dorm. Cooking for herself is the main attraction.

It took us all day--ALL day to get her moved in. We left the house at 8 AM and I didn't return till just about 8:30 PM. Crazy. But it anyone's fault really, it was just one of those days where what could go wrong...DID! First we went straight to the bookstore to figure out books. Are we going to buy, rent or rent online. With a little help from Maryn we had that figured out in less than an hour. So far so good. So now on to the apartment and getting rent paid. We find out they will only take checks or money orders, so a trip to the post office is necessary. But first let's stop and check out the apartment, that will be fun! We arrived at the apartment to find her new roomies sitting in front of the television while it looked like a bomb had been dropped on the place. Hmmm? Needless to say, Mom was a little worried. I followed Kelsey back to her room and passed an equally dirty kitchen and my anxiety level doubled. When I found her and saw that her room was a disaster, with no spare space I panicked! How can I leave my little girl in this situation? There is no way. This was a bad decision. My mind started racing about how to fix this, what were my options? And as soon as I could I got to the car and cried. Then I called Kelly.

Kelsey was picture perfect calm. In fact, when I saw a slightly scary male person and asked if he lived here too, she replied "Mom, you have high expectations of everyone!" Note taken. As we parked at the post office to retrieve our money order, suddenly Kelsey remember her correct po box number. Yes, as opposed to the incorrect po box number we gave to Maryn for text books! Oh no!Tiny moment of panic, but that as it turned out it was easily solved. Kelsey explained her situation to the nice lady inside and got the "this happens quite a bit, actually" response.

Decision time. Are we going to move forward with the original plan? Move her in to that dreadful place? I say no and she says yes. We compromise and decided to pay 1 month and she will see about a move later. All the while I know she is just helping me cope. After all, it is her decision. But it works to put my mind at rest...a bit. But how do we get her stuff unloaded. She suggests that I just unpack the car and head back to Tucson to be home in time for YW, but that is just unacceptable to me. I can't leave her in this awful state. We need a bed moved, but help is not arriving till much later that night. So I dry my tears, forget my worries and get to work. Erica's bed had got to be moved out to her new place if we are to get Kelsey into her room. So that is exactly what we did. Unload Kelsey's stuff to a temporary spot outside the apartment and load the bed into the back of our car. Erica fills her car and we move her to her new apartment. In return she comes back and helps us get Blythe's side of the room cleared so that we can get her bed in. We move her stuff back to her side and we bring in Kelsey's bed and the rest of her stuff. Btw, Erica's apartment? Brand new, so cute. I wish it was where Kelsey was moving into. As we drive away from there Kelsey breathes a sigh of relief and says she is feeling so much better. What? What about that picture perfect calm? So I ask her:

• "Why didn't you say anything? Was it because I was already falling apart?"
• Yes. Someone had to be strong!
• I am sorry Kelsey. If you would have told me I would have been the strong one. I would have pulled it together for you (saying through shameful tears)
• Mom. It is okay if sometimes I am the strong one.

Note taken. Last thing to do is get loaded up on some groceries and last minute apartment items. A trip to Wal-Mart and I will be on my way. Oh wait...we are starving? What time is it? Can't be helped, we have got to grab some food. A quick trip to Taco Bell and we are set. I will still make it, just in time. No worries. Okay, one worry where is the card. The card with all the money on it? It is no where in the car. We go back to the apartment. It is not in the car. We looked all over it...several times! We call Erica. We call Blythe (Kelsey's new roomie). It is no where to be found. Only thing left to do is report it stolen and cancel the card, which opens up a whole new set of questions: books? rent? Did they get paid before the cancellation goes through? Not to mention we still need the groceries.

They can re-issue the card! It will take a few days, but the money is not gone forever. We take a deep breathe and go back to Wal-Mart. We get the things she will need for the next few weeks and head back "home" to unload the groceries. She sys she will be fine to put the groceries away and organize her room. In fact, she is looking forward to it! That way I can leave--because now I will be late, but I can still make it to YW. Once home we unload her bags and she checks in the fridge....oh no! There is NO room. It is a mess inside there. Same with the freezer. Kelsey is teetering-she can do it don't worry. I really didn't want to start out griping to my roommates on the first day. I will figure it out. I can't believe I have to be bossy already. My heart can't take it. I am late already anyway, so I help her clear some room and we get the groceries put away. Now all that is left for her to do is organize her stuff. She loves that! Put some music on and she will be all set. All I have to do is drive away and leave her.

We walk out to the car to say our goodbye's and I love you's. I hug her and all I can thing about is that I don't want to let go. It is hard enough to say good-bye, but even more hard with events of this day. I don't want to leave her HERE! I force myself not to cry; not till I am on the road I tell myself. I pray for strength. I can't let myself put a damper on her excitement. Because while I am praying for help, she is saying..."Mom, can you believe it? My first apartment!"