Hanging On or Letting Go

We have enjoyed attending church here in Maui. It is such a blessing to be able to go to church wherever you are in the world, and hear the truth taught and feel the spirit. Here in Hawaii, each person that stands at the microphone begins with saying “Aloooha!” and the congregation answers back with same greeting. It felt a little awkward at first, but now I find it very endearing. Even with the influx of visitors you can feel the love they have for their ward ohana, family. Yesterday we visited a ward in La Haina so that we could meet Sister Velluti’s daughter and her family. At the end of sacrament meeting the whole congregation stood and sang a Hawaiian good bye song to a sister who was moving to California. There was such a sweet, loving spirit as they sang that it brought tears to my eyes.
Last Sunday, while attending a ward here in Kihea I was touched by a simple story that was told, one that I have heard before. The story tells of a man walking on a trail on the side of a mountain when a big gust of wind blows him over the side and he is saved by clinging to a small tree. He hears a voice that asks him if he believes in God, if he believes that he created the mountain, the wind that blew him over and the tree that he is clinging to. When he answers yes to all of the questions he is asked one final question. The voice asks him if he believes that God can create a wind to place him back on the mountain. When he answers once again, that he believes God responds with “then let go”.
As the speaker told the story, it felt almost like when you dream—even though it isn’t real your mind feels like it is and so you experience the feelings you would feel if it were real. I could feel the panic of clinging to the one thing that is saving you from certain death and the thought of letting go. I felt as though my own faith was really being tested. Of course my mind raced, and I tried to analyze just what the thoughts were going through my mind. And then just like a dream, it felt as though I woke up. Instead of the all the feelings I was left with the memory of what I felt--and a desire to talk it over with Kelly after church. The meeting closed and we moved on to Sunday School and Relief Society. I was able to enjoy the lessons, keeping the experience in the back of my mind. Our closing hymn in Relief Society was “Be Still My Soul” (#124) and I cried through the whole thing. I was so embarrassed but also thankful for the message of that song and the answer it is to the questions of the story.
I know that it touched me so deeply because of recent events and the questions and prayers that I have offered. I think it is confusing sometimes to figure out how to hang on to the end, cling to the rod, working out your salvation and at the same time let go, be still and let God be in charge. It makes me think of that Kenny Rogers song, you have to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em! And my experience on Sunday helped to sort out why I need to do both and when to use both more clearly. I hope I will be able to do a better job of clinging and letting go in the future.