Mothering

I asked Maryn last night if I could breath a sigh of relief, even for just a little while, because it seems that both of my girls are in a pretty good place right now! I just hope it is not the calm before the storm. I am not ready for another storm.

That is so typical of me. I find it so interesting how faith and fear fight this battle in my heart. If faith isn't paying attention, fear creeps in at the first sign of weakness. And doubts try to take root. Just like that. Why not just enjoy the calm and not worry about a storm?

Just like when I talk to Kelsey--a rare occurrence! She is always so busy and on the go, but she sounds happy. Really happy. I miss her so much, but the sting is gone when I hear the joy in her voice. I feel peace and it feels like yes, we did the right thing.

But then those doubts. Is it too soon to tell? what if she does something crazy again? did we really do the right thing? And I have to fight fear off with faith. Taking that risk of sending her off to college, now, seemed to be a crazy choice when you took everything in account--except the spirit. But we did listen to the Spirit. And I have to have faith in that decision.

Kelsey is finding such joy in being in charge of her life and seems to be doing a great job at it. Isn't that what it is all about? These last 3 weeks have taught her more about agency and Heavenly Father's plan. She is not just learning, she is applying those principles in her life. She is experiencing the joy of living the gospel. Is their a better safe guard against Satan and his temptations? I believe it will be harder to trade what she has felt and experienced on her own. Once you feel it for yourself, it is harder to stray and be without peace and joy. Not that mistakes aren't made. Heaven knows, I make mistakes, but the desire to stay on the path, and make things right is stronger. (My hope is that she will want to keep the feelings she has felt. Is that faith or fear speaking there?)

"With the Lord and through Him, we can be strengthened to be who we need to be....And the Lord will help us, for He loves these children even more than we do. He loves them and He will bless them." Cheryl C Lant

I believe that statement. I feel it working in my life.