We had our New Beginnings last night. The laurels were in charge and picked the theme "Follow the Yellow Brick Road', based on the Wizard of Oz. They made a yellow brick road to welcome us and guides to the right spot. Sister Lee dressed as Dorothy introduced the new theme from Joshua 1:19. She used the movie to teach some great principles. It was a fun night and the laurels did a fabulous job! 
Stop right here if what you are interested in is the events of our lives. If you are sick of all of my personal stuff...consider yourself warned. Proceed at your own risk!
This week--maybe a little more than a week--has been a time of self-reflection and evaluation. When I heard the new theme for the YW this year, I immediately thought it was a great one for the YW. I didn't realize till this week, how much I need this theme. I have been such a chicken, trying to just ignore some things that need to change in my life. I pray for the courage I need to do what needs to be done. Our stake held a fireside to introduce the theme as well, and I knew then that I was going to once and for all do some "cleaning out".
I read Pres. Monson's talk from conference and wrote a quote on a piece of paper and stuck it by my computer where I could see it. It was something I knew I needed to think about and follow through with. Then it was quoted at the fireside. I told my husband about my paper and my thoughts and he said he had thought the same thing when he heard it. And I thought, okay, that is pretty clear, that is what the end result should be. The end is clear, but is still not so clear is how to get to that end. (And I am a chicken because I won't just say the quote and how it applies to me specifically.)
So I have been thinking, praying, and even thinking about putting it off. I am not sure of what to do exactly still. One thing I do know. I have tried to be something I am not, hoping to fit. That hasn't worked because for me, that reason isn't sufficient enough for sustained change. In order for real change, I have to do it for the right reasons. I think...(take a deep breath of courage)...I need to be who I am--faults and all--and hope I can fit anyway. Because I am hoping that most of what I have been feeling, is actually coming from me. If I don't fit, maybe more time will fix that. I will have a chance to work on my faults and who knows what else can change.
My first goal is to have the courage to stand up for myself. Clear out assumptions and maybe even some old beliefs.
Oh, and the quote? "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved". What it means to me? That will take a little more courage.
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